


Going Nowhere

by Mamacallie



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Bad Flirting, Discussions of Past Trauma, Frottage, M/M, Memes, Oral Sex, Pining, Slow Burn, Unrequited, based on an rp, genjis a giant nerd, more tags and characters will be added as this goes on, non graphic torture, non-canon compliant, really bad southern phrases, shameless flirting, stop bastardizing japanese mccree
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-08 11:08:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7755382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mamacallie/pseuds/Mamacallie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His breath evened out and he pulled back to kiss Hanzo again, a deep, passionate, dazing kiss, cupping Hanzo's face with both hands. </p><p>"God, Hanzo.", he murmured against the archer's lips. "I'm sorry. I can't do this. If we're not gonna move past tonight, if this ain't gonna go nowhere, I don't think I can do it. I'm sorry." Jesse's voice sounded strained with emotion, and he traced his thumb over Hanzo's cheek before pulling away entirely. He idly thought that if he'd known he'd fall this hard, he never would have pursued Hanzo in the first place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Graveyard in Hanamura

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is based on an ongoing RP with the wonderful and lovely [Galviron](http://galviron.tumblr.com/) and would not exist without her being the perfect Hanzo to my McCree! Thanks, Galvi ❤ ❤

Surveillance in Hanamura, keeping an eye out "Just in case", Winston had said. A 'just in case' mission that required two snipers, a ninja, a teenager with a mech, and a cowboy _at least_  didn't really strike Jesse McCree as an actual "just in case" but he didn't say anything. Normally he would have, and run his mouth asking several questions to get to the bottom of "Why do we need two snipers for surveillance?", but McCree had been too busy observing his friend from across the table. Friend was actually a lose term, something Hanzo Shimada rarely liked to use. Jesse was fond of it, bandying it about in reference even to acquaintances, but despite them having known each other and actively enjoyed company together for a few months, Hanzo very reluctantly called Jesse a  friend. Regardless, the downright sour, angry look on Hanzo's face when Winston announced the mission concerned Jesse. He'd seen most negative emotions come from the archer, but this intense vibe was something entirely new and everyone picked up on it, edging out of his way as Hanzo stalked out of the room after the briefing. 

Jesse approached Genji as he fished a cigarillo out of his pocket, Mercy eyeing him over the cyborg's shoulder. 'No smoking inside!', she mouthed, and he nodded with the unlit cigarillo dangling from his lips. 

"Heya, Genji.", he said. "What's eatin' your brother? I never seen him look that mad."

"Hanamura is still stained by my death for Hanzo.", Genji replied. "Reconciliation is... not quite on the horizon yet."

"Is he gonna be alright?" He idly flicked his lighter on and off. "Maybe someone should go talk to 'im."

"You are welcome to try, though he does not like people to see him upset.", the cyborg said as he crossed his arms. "He will be in his room if you are insistent."

Jesse started walking towards the door of the briefing room. "Pray he don't rip me a new asshole, then." He waved over his shoulder and left, lighting his cigarillo once he was out of eyesight of anyone who'd reprimand him. The smoke swirled around his shoulders and stuck to his hat as he walked, the spurs on his boots jangling against the tiled floors. He whistled jaunty tune, a hand in his pocket and the other holding his cigarillo.  A few lights flickered when he passed, buzzing with electricity, and casting shadows through the smoke. Jesse didn't bother putting the cigarillo out as he rapped his knuckles against Hanzo's door, assuming the archer would deny him entry. 

"Whoever it is, go away! I wish to be alone.", Hanzo's voice barked from behind the door. 

"That ain't gonna get rid'a me, Shimada. If you don't wanna let me in, that's fine, I can always yell at ya through the door."

He heard a muffled grumble, but no attempt to open the door followed. A few moments of silence passed before Jesse nodded and slid down to sit with his back against the door. 

"Have it your way.", he said, puffing on the nearly spent cigarillo. "Hey, you ever seen The Magnificent Seven?" More silence. Jesse rambled on about the plot, dragging it out as long and annoyingly as possible. He even lit another cigarillo near the end, but even after he finished the story, he hadn't gotten a response from Hanzo. He sighed and leaned his head against the door. "I could tell you about another one, if ya didn't like that one."

"JUST COME IN!" Finally.

Jesse opened the door, his cigarillo smoke swirling and dancing in the sudden, swift breeze caused by the door. He stepped inside and let the door shut behind him as he looked at Hanzo, who sat on the ground, cross legged, with incense burning in front of him. "You always yell like that when you're mad?", he asked. 

"Only when someone refuses to leave me be. What is it, what do you want?", Hanzo demanded, clearly irritated. "Make it quick."

"I've never seen you look the way ya did after the briefin'. Just wanted to make sure you were alright."

"I am fine. Thank you for your concern. Now leave." Hanzo spoke in a low voice and looked away from Jesse. The cowboy sighed heavily. 

"Look, lemme level with ya.", he said. "I know you got history in Hanamura. If you wanna talk about it-"

"I do not."

"I'm just sayin' you don't have to hole yourself and deal with shit alone. You got a friend." Jesse groaned. "Shit, I'm bad at this."

"If you are bad at it, then leave.", Hanzo said bluntly, glaring at Jesse. "When I say I am fine, I mean it."

Jesse opened his mouth to retort, say something else he hoped would be comforting, but Hanzo cut him off. "Goodnight, McCree.", he said, again turning his attention away from Jesse. 

"Fine.", Jesse said after a few moments of silence. "I don't think it'll do ya any good to be so isolated, but suit yourself."

"I said 'Goodnight, McCree'."

With a heavy sigh, Jesse opened the door and turned to leave. Maybe they weren't as good of friends as he'd thought. "See ya later, Shimada.", he said as the door drifted shut behind him.

 

++

 

They shipped out to Hanamura the next morning, and the transport ship was oddly silent. Even D.Va stayed relatively quiet. Genji and Hanzo sat next to each other, awkwardly, and any time Genji attempted to speak Hanzo would shush him. For the most part, Jesse spent the trip reclined easily in his seat with his hat tipped down over his face, but around the third time he heard Hanzo say "Quiet, Genji." he noticed Genji looking at him and he cleared his throat. He pushed his hat back away from his face and glanced at Hanzo. 

"You appreciatin' the silence, or are ya just avoidin' pleasant conversation?", he said. Genji's shoulders seemed to relax in relief as he spoke.

 Hanzo glared back at him. "What exactly is there to discuss?"

Shrugging, Jesse idly scratched his beard as he replied. "Anythin'? Hell, we could talk about the weather. It's better than silence, at least."

Narrowed eyes. "Why are you so intent on bothering me at every chance you have?"

"Just tryin' to be nice. Conversation could be pleasantly distractin'."

"I do not need to be distracted."

"Well, alright then.", Jesse muttered, huffing slightly. He turned his attention to Genji with a smile. "How ya doin', Genji? Speakin of weather, ain't it nice how sunny it's been at base? I wonder what it'll be like when we land."

"I had meant to check before we left, but I am afraid I forgot.", Genji told him. "I'm sure if there were any bad forecasts, we would have been told."

"Can't be too bad.", Jesse agreed. "Even a little refreshin'."

Hanzo shifted in his seat, seeming to get visibly annoyed as Genji and Jesse continued. Childishly, almost, the scowl on his face deepening. 

"We get a fair share of rain as Hanamura is close to the ocean, but you never know."

A sharp turn of the head, his mouth opened as if to bark something at them, showed them Hanzo was angry again. The transport landed before he could say anything, and instead he just growled as he got up. He exited the transport first.

"Jeez, I hope that sour attitude don't keep him from workin' with the team.", Jesse mumbled as he headed for the exit.

"He will do what the mission will need him to, do not worry.", Genji said, walking next to him. "Thank you for trying, I greatly appreci-"

"RIDE 'EM COWBOY!!"

Genji was cut off as Hana launched herself at Jesse and landed on his back with a soft thud. He stumbled a bit at the impact and laughed, adjusting for the weight of her on his back.

"Well hello to you, too, sweetheart.", he said with a lopsided smile.

"Morning cowboy. Get into a fight, huh?", she asked, arms and legs looped around him to hold on.

Jesse sighed and tipped his hat back slightly. "He won't even talk to me long enough to get into an argument." He walked with her riding piggyback, occasionally hitching her up with his hips if she slipped down so he wasn't choked. Hana stole his hat and plopped it on her head. 

"At least he talks to you, though. He hardly speaks with the rest of us.", she told him.

"Yeah, he's just...", Jesse shrugged. "He'll come around. Probably."

"He's not so bad. One time he threw away the three day old pizza I was eating and cooked for me."

"Well that was mighty nice of him." He chuckled, scratched his beard again. "We'll see what happens, I guess."

They'd walked past Hana's station and were approaching his, so Jesse unwound her legs and dropped her off his back. "Alright, little lady, time to head off. We can hang after we kick some ass.", he said with a grin.

"Alright!" She grinned and offered his hat back, waving at him over her shoulder as she left. "I'll see you later alligator!", she called, using the phrase Jesse had taught her. He shot her a finger gun as he placed his hat back on his head.

"After 'while, crocodile.", he said with a smile. Whistling, he turned to walk the patrol route to his point, keeping an eye out for anything suspicious. All he saw, though, was Hanzo running from rooftop to rooftop before climbing a tower to perch on his station. Jesse lit a cigarillo and waved to the archer, tipping his hat when Hanzo looked at him but did not respond. He sighed, leaned against a wall, and turned his attention to the road they were meant to watch. If Hanzo wanted to ignore him, that was fine, as long as he had Jesse's back if it came down to the wire. He glanced back at Hanzo a few times as they waited. And waited. And waited. Whatever they were supposed to be surveying wasn't happening, and the silence drove Jesse crazy. As he glanced around the area for what felt like the hundredth time, he saw Hanzo reaching for an arrow.

"Somethin' wrong?", he asked into his comm, but he never received an answer. Hanzo suddenly reeled back, falling behind the railing he'd stood on and crumpling in a heap just behind it. "Shit shit shit.", Jesse cursed, adrenaline leaking into his system as he tried sticking to shadows and cover looking for whoever had shot Hanzo as he slipped Peacekeeper from his holster.

"Hanzo, are you there?? Can you hear me?", he asked urgently. 

A different voice answered him, one he hadn't expected to be in range. "It is me.", Ana said. "Someone has to teach that fool not to perch on his station like a bird."

He sighed heavily in relief, rubbing a gloved hand over his face. "Jesus Christ, Ana, ya nearly gave me a heart attack." He walked back to original position. "i was ready to run in guns blazin'."

"Nice to know you are aware of your teammates' locations.", she said sourly. "You have 30 seconds to spot me before you join him for a nap."

With another sigh, Jesse sidled around a wall and scanned the rooftops carefully. He just barely managed to spot the silvery blue glint of Ana's rifle poking through the crenelation of a building opposite Hanzo's tower. He chuckled at the 'Tsk' sound she made into the comm as he slunk back, definitely out of her line of sight.

"Across from the tower, sixth floor crenelation.", he said. "Good spot, Shimada could probably stand to take a few pointers." He laughed, leaning against the wall again. 

"I suppose you are spared from the dream world this time. You barely made it. Good job, Jesse.", she said, her voice tinted with something akin to impression.

A soft chuckle, the sound of a lighter, and: "I learned from the best."

"The poor dear won't be happy when he wakes.", Ana told him, sighing thoughtfully.

"He'll be fine." Jesse took a deep pull from his newly lit cigarillo and slid Peacekeeper back into the holster on his hip. "Maybe he just needs a little tamin'.", he joked.

Ana laughed loudly. "Ha! Are you going to tame him, then? Or are you just poking the horse to see if it'll kick you in the teeth?"

"Shimada ain't no horse.", he mused, admiration tinging his words. "He's somethin' else entirely."

"What is he?"

The cigarillo had burned fast, and Jesse took a final drag from it before he dropped the butt and ground it into the cement with the toe of his boot. "A dragon, I reckon.", he said. "And I ain't got much experience in tamin' dragons."

"A dragon?", she said, indignant. "Lazy, la-zyyyy."

Another laugh. "You don't think it's fittin'?"

"The man with a dragon tattoo that summons dragon is also a dragon? Just lazy jesse, and you know it."

"Hmm." He thought for a moment. "Maybe he's a bird after all."

"Well he certainly sits li-"

"How dare you.", a growl came crackling over the comm; Hanzo, finally awake, rubbing his neck from what Jesse could see when he looked up at the tower.

"Morning sunshine. Stay more alert next time.", Ana chastised. 

Jesse stifled a laugh. "Howdy, sleepin' beauty.", he said.

Hanzo barked at them both. "Quiet!"

"Oh, c'mon. Are you bitter she got the better of you?", Jesse teased between laughs. "Lighten up, we all got lessons to learn sometimes. And Ana's the best to dispense 'em."

Hanzo growled again, yelling into the communicator. "I have better things to do than be target practice for bored old women!" He threw the comm down and jumped from his spot towards the next rooftop.

Ana sighed. "Your bird has flown the coop, Jesse."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll get him." Jesse sighed, too, and followed Hanzo as best he could from the streets. He watched the archer jump across the roofs, and jogged to keep up. When Hanzo finally landed on the street, Jesse broke into a sprint and just barely managed to catch him by an arm. "Dammit, Shimada1 Stop!"

Hanzo yanked his arm away. "Here to mock me again?"

"What the hell were you thinkin'?", Jesse said, bulldozing over Hanzo's comment. "You can't just abandon your God damn post!"

"I just did!" Hanzo glared at him, puffing his chest slightly as if to make himself look more intimidating.

"Shape the fuck up!" By this point, Jesse was definitively angry, and it had been a long time since he'd been legitimately angry. "You're on a mission, Shimada, and I dunno how your solo adventures went but you don't abandon your post and you don't risk your team! Especially over a God damn temper tantrum!"

Hanzo's eyes sharpened, widening slightly as he watched Jesse. The man's temperament surprised him.

"Stop actin' like a child, we got a fuckin' job to do. You can mope and sulk and shit on everyone all you want _when we're done_." He made a sound that seemed similar to a scoff. "I'm sympathetic to the shit you're dealin' with, we all got shitty pasts and crap we gotta atone for. but you gotta separate it from the _job_."

Hanzo's face settled back to it's usual scowl and he silently pushed past Jesse, heading back towards the point. Jesse groaned and rubbed his face again as he followed behind him, slipping back into position when they got back. He looked towards Ana and tipped his hat at her, getting a sweet kiss blown to him in return. Hanzo adjusted his stance on his station and sat, silent and sullen, for the remainder of their sift.

++

The day remained relatively uneventful. Jesse chatted with Ana, occasionally saying something to Hanzo just to make sure he had his comm on, and he got a little lazy as the hours wore on, leaning against walls and pillars while whatever or whoever they waited for didn't show. The archer only replied with a grunt when Jesse said his name, but otherwise seemed to ignore Jesse and Ana. Eventually, the sun began to set and their shift ended. Jesse stretched wide, trying to work out the kinks that had built up from all his wall lounging. 

"I was hopin' to see a little action.", he yawned into the comm.

"You can continue your shift if you wish, Jesse.", Ana replied. 

"Nah.", he sighed. "Nah, I should get some shut eye. Don't wanna be worn out for tomorrow's shift." He looked up at Hanzo, still perched on the tower. "What about you?"

"If we are done, then I am leaving.", Hanzo said bluntly.

"Yes, yes, you can go.", Ana stated. That was all Hanzo needed to hear before quickly heading off in the same direction he'd gone earlier.

"Your bird has escaped again."

"Yeah.", Jesse said, watching Hanzo for a moment before he took off to follow him. "Yeah."

"Going to catch him?"

"Yup."

"Going to let him know know you're following him?"

"He might already know."

"Oh well... now you just disappoint me Jesse."

He laughed. "He's liable to peck my eyes out if I startled him." Jesse kept his eye on Hanzo jumping across buildings, shutting his comm down and slipping it in his pocket as he followed from street to street. Soon, Hanzo stopped in front of a traditional cemetery and looked around, as if afraid of being caught, before vaulting over the locked gate. He rushed up the steps, heading for the top of a hill. Deciding to keep his distance, Jesse watched Hanzo for a few moments before turning around and leaning against the wall that surrounded the cemetery. He dug a cigarillo out of his pocket and lit it, waiting for the other man to finish his business. 

Several hours passed before Hanzo vaulted back over the gate, making his way towards the street. 

"Feelin' better?", Jesse asked, watching Hanzo's back. Hanzo whirled around, arrow knocked and inches from Jesse's face. Jesse didn't flinch, or blink. He looked at Hanzo with a steady gaze, grinding the butt of his second or third cigarillo since he'd started waiting. Hanzo's eyes were wild, and when he recognized Jesse his expression fell. He growled in irritation as he lowered the bow.

"Do you not have a hobby?", the archer asked, putting the arrow in his quiver and Storm Bow in his back as he turned to walk away. Jesse fell into stride beside him.

"I ain't allowed to check up on ya?", Jesse asked.

"Why do you feel the need to check up on me in the first place?", Hanzo demanded.

Jesse looked up at the moon and simply said, "You're hurtin',"

"I am fine. You are being ridiculous."

"you can say that all you want, but I ain't likely to believe it."

"I do not care what you believe."

Jesse laughed. "Sounds about right."

The streets were mostly empty as they walked, occasionally a group would pass them and gape. 

"What is reasoning do you have for continuing to not leave me alone?", Hanzo demanded.

"You ain't never had someone just be nice?", Jesse said, a little irritated. He looked at Hanzo and frowned. "This is what friends do, Shimada. And don't give me that 'I'm fine' shit, because you're not. People notice. _I_ notice."

"Then I will simply not not talk to you.", Hanzo replied snarkily. 

"What if we talked over a drink?", Jesse offered, hoping that would coax Hanzo. It didn't.

"No thank you."

"We could just drink, then. We don't have to talk."

Hanzo sighed wearily. When he spoke, he didn't sound angry or frustrated. He just sounded tired, worn out from the back and forth. "Why will you not leave me be?"

Jesse stayed quiet for a minute before he answered, looking at the sky again. "I worry about ya."

"Why?"

He shrugged. "I dunno. It's just what friends do."

"Not to this extreme.", Hanzo insisted. 

Jesse laughed, sudden and deep. "You've not had many friends, I take it."

"They knew when to leave me alone." Hanzo said. "Genji... Genji knew when to leave me alone."

"Solitude is overrated."

Hanzo didn't reply, he only sighed, looking down at the ground dejectedly. They walked in silence until the hotel they were to stay at came into view. Jesse sighed, too, and stopped just short of the hotel entrance.

"Alright. I'll leave you alone for awhile, I'm sorry.", he said, looking at Hanzo with a soft expression. "If you need someone for target practice, lemme know." He waved slightly as he turned to walk inside.

"....I _am_ hungry.", Hanzo said quietly. Jesse stopped and turned back to face the archer, smiling slightly.

"You wanna grab dinner?", he offered. 

"Please."

Jesse nodded, looking up and down the street for a restaurant despite being unfamiliar with the area. "Let's go eat then."

Hanzo fell into step beside him easily, taking the lead from Jesse when the cowboy nearly got them lost. Jesse smiled down at the man next to him, affection apparent on his face, and he wondered idly if this would count as a date.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out my tumblr, [ohshititsmama](http://ohshititsmama.tumblr.com/) , for primo shitposts and more McHanzo goodness


	2. I Never Expected To Feel This Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse huffed at Hanzo, tearing his gaze away from the archer's cold, dark eyes. He took a swig from his beer and settled back against his seat, trying to push away the upset niggling at him. 
> 
> "He is dead.", Hanzo repeated.
> 
> "Fine."
> 
> "Shall we talk of other things?"
> 
> The waitress brought them bowls of miso soup, smiling politely as she left the room again. Jesse sipped idly at his beer as he thought of something else they could talk about. Not the weather, that was just a cop out. And not the mission, either, they'd just end up in another fight. Chuckling, he leaned on the table and looked at Hanzo, smirking.
> 
> "Does this count as a date?", he asked, jokingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad people liked chapter one! Please leave me a comment and let me know what you think!

The restaurant Hanzo chose was much nicer than anything Jesse had ever been to. The cowboy whistled in appreciation, surprised he'd even been allowed in, but by the way the staff looked at and treated Hanzo, he figured he normally would have been turned away. They were led to a private room, where Hanzo spoke rapid Japanese with a waitress as he and Jesse sat down before looking at McCree.

"You and Genji are quite transparent.", he said. 

"What?"

"I know you two have been talking."

Jesse rubbed the back of his neck and cast his gaze away from Hanzo. "Well.. yeah. We're friends. Friends talk."

Hanzo frowned as the waitress came back with a few bottles of beer and sake. He thanked her and sourly poured himself some sake. Jesse opened his mouth as if to say something before snapping it shut again. After a few floundering moments, he tried again.

"You should talk to him."

"He is dead."

"You know that ain't true.", Jesse said.

"That... _thing_ with his voice is not my brother."

Sighing and leaning back against his seat, Jesse said, "You can tell yourself that til you're blue in the face, darlin', but that don't make it true. And you're not gonna find any peace til you start forgivin' him." He thought and added: "And yourself."

"I just visited Genji's grave, McCree. He is dead."

"Angela saved him and patched him up herself! 'That thing' is Genji."

The room grew tense around them. Jesse adamantly watched Hanzo, looking for any sign of emotion, but the archer only glared back over his sake cup.

"No, it is not.", Hanzo said quietly. 

"Did you feel his pulse before you left him to bleed out?"

"He was run through with his own sword. His ashes are at his grave!"

"And Jack fuckin' Morrison was blown up!" Jesse's voice was a bit louder than he intended, and he forced himself to relax before continuing. "but he's still kickin', ain't he?"

"That is different."

"No, it ain't!"

Jesse huffed at Hanzo, tearing his gaze away from the archer's cold, dark eyes. He took a swig from his beer and settled back against his seat, trying to push away the upset niggling at him. 

"He is dead.", Hanzo repeated.

"Fine."

"Shall we talk of other things?"

The waitress brought them bowls of miso soup, smiling politely as she left the room again. Jesse sipped idly at his beer as he thought of something else they could talk about. Not the weather, that was just a cop out. And not the mission, either, they'd just end up in another fight. Chuckling, he leaned on the table and looked at Hanzo, smirking.

"Does this count as a date?", he asked, jokingly.

Hanzo choked on his spoonful of soup, burning his throat. He coughed, wincing slightly, and looked at Jesse. "Wh-what?!"

Jesse laughed. "Relax!", he said. "If I took you on a date, I'd put more effort into askin' ya out."

"It makes sense now." Hanzo narrowed his eyes, setting his spoon aside. "Why you will not leave me alone."

"Does that make a difference?", Jesse asked between bites of soup. 

"All your talk of friendship, and you were after something else."

Taken aback, Jesse sat straight. "No.", he said flatly. "I am your friend. Anythin' else is inconsequential unless I got a shot at you. And i don't, so it don't matter." He looked at Hanzo seriously. The archer watched him before looking at his bowl and finishing his soup.

"Are you interested in that robot then?", he asked.

"I ain't interested in anyone else, Shimada."

Again, the waitress returned. She brought them plates of raw fish and rice, glazed salmon,  and vegetables. Hanzo thanked her, again, and looked at Jesse for a moment. He hummed slightly before he started eating. 

"What's that 'hmmm' for?", Jesse asked, draining the last of his beer and looking at his plate in appreciation. 

"Thinking."

They fell into a conversational lull, punctuated by awkward silence and stolen glances they thought went unnoticed. The food was good, and the waitress refreshed their beverages a few times before the door to the room opened without her. Genji stood in the doorway, paused by the sight before him. He fidgeted uncomfortably.

"I am sorry, I didn't know you were.. here.", he said. 

Jesse looked between the two of them and said, "It was kinda on a whim. Wanna join us?" he bit his tongue and glanced at Hanzo. Damn his mouth, he thought.

"If you are hungry, join us." Hanzo said it bluntly, without looking at Genji, but Jesse was still surprised to hear it. Genji nodded and bowed.

"Thank you.", he said, sitting at the table with them. Hanzo spoke to the waitress and a few moments later, another plate like Hanzo's and Jesse's arrived for Genji. Jesse smiled at him, and offered him a beer.

"Thank you.", Genji said again, grabbing the beer with one hand as he reached to pull off his visor with the other. Hanzo stared at him momentarily, averting his eyes before Genji could catch him looking, and they resumed eating silently.

Until Jesse desperately tried to break the tension. He stretched a little, and said, "I hope the beds at the hotel are comfortable."

"They are." Genji smiled slyly. "I used to frequent the hotels in the area. They are good, but better with company."

Jesse laughed, grinning wide and clapping Genji on the back. "A shame I'm goin' to bed lonely then!"

They laughed together and fell into companionable conversation. Hanzo watched them quietly as he continued eating, observing their interactions. Genji made a few lewd jokes and Jesse would shove his shoulder, replying in kind with worse ones. They looked like old friends getting together to catch up, and in some ways they were. Something Hanzo found envious. 

"Have you had sashimi before, Jesse?", Genji asked.

"Can't  say that I have, no."

Grinning, the cyborg ordered something and shortly after the waitress returned with a a plate of neatly sliced, raw meats. She set it in front of Jesse with a smile. 

"Raw tuna.", Genji said, pointing to the red slices. "Cuttlefish. And octopus." 

With a laugh, Jesse looked at Genji. "You're gettin' a kick outta this, aren't you?"

"I do not expect you to enjoy it. But yes, I will most likely find amusement in watching you.", he said with another grin.

"I never turn down a dare." Jesse immediately went for the octopus, shoving a few pieces into his mouth and exaggerating an "MMMMMM" despite the twist of his face as the flavor and texture registered. He swallowed quickly and chased the food with a large chug of beer. "Bleh!"

Genji laughed loudly, clearly enjoying himself while Hanzo rolled his eyes and stole a slice of tuna. 

"Delicious.", Jesse said.

"If you say so, Jesse." Genji grinned brightly, eyes lighting up when the waitress brought them all creme brulee. 

"Now this is somethin' I haven't had in ages.", Jesse said, grabbing a spoon and cracking the top of his.

"It is a rare treat, I asked them to make it for us." Hanzo said, about to do the same, but Genji moved quickly and cracked the top of his brother's brulee first, smiling. Hanzo froze, spoon in midair, and stared down at his bowl. 

"Uh..", Jesse said. "Careful he don't lob your arm off, there."

Genji blinked. "Oh..." He chuckled awkwardly. "Sorry, brother... you know how I am with these."

Hanzo didn't respond, he just continued staring at his brulee. 

"I don't blame ya.", Jesse said, cutting through the tension. "They're delicious."

"I just enjoy cracking the shell.", Genji admitted. He cracked Hanzo's a bit more before cracking his own and eating it. They ate dessert in silence, Jesse watching closely as Hanzo didn't move for several minutes. He was going to say something when Hanzo finally ate his brulee. He didn't look up at all. Eventually, they began to wind down and Genji stood to go.

"Thank you for including me. I appreciate it.", he said, putting his mask back on. "I will see you both tomorrow." He bowed and left, waving slightly to Jesse as he went. 

"That wasn't so terrible, was it?", Jesse asked Hanzo a few minutes later, sipping at his third, or fourth, beer. 

"Thank you." Hanzo still had not looked up from his bowl. 

Jesse shifted in his seat, leaning forward slightly. "How are you feelin'?", he said.

"We... rarely ate creme brulee but it was a favorite. When we did, Genji always... broke my shell first." He was quiet, eyes darting as thoughts flooded his mind. Jesse's eyes softened and he tentatively reached a hand across the table to rest reassuringly against Hanzo's arm. 

"Are you gonna be alright? Should we leave?", he asked. 

Hanzo nodded. He made Jesse wait while he handled the bill, but when he returned Jesse was at his side almost instantly. They walked quietly back towards the hotel, and Jesse fought himself over what to say. he wanted to comfort Hanzo, but rather than risk sounding like a broken record, he opted for physical reassurance again and placed a hand on Hanzo's back.

"Thank you.", Hanzo said. "Again."

"Anytime, darlin'.", Jesse told him with a small smile. 

"I am not your darling."

"Maybe."

Hanzo gave him an evil look and Jesse pretended to swoon. "Keep lookin' at me like that and I might double down on my efforts." A sly, lopsided smirk spread over his lips as he looked at Hanzo, eyes glittering under the streetlights. Hanzo rolled his eyes, facing forward again as they walked. 

"You are a fool.", he said.

Jesse laughed, digging a cigarillo out of his pocket and lighting it. "Everyone's gotta be a little stupid sometimes."

"You overdo it."

"That's part'a my charm."

"You have charm?" Hanzo's voice dripped with derision. 

A laugh, deep and throaty, filled with smoke, and: "Of course I do!" Glittering eyes winked. "You wouldn't've choked on soup earlier otherwise."

Hanzo's face turned a few shades darker and he turned his head to hide it, grumbling under his breath. Jesse smirked and puffed on his cigarillo. They walked in silence again for a few blocks.

"The hotel is further away than I thought.", Hanzo mumbled.

"just a couple blocks left. Then you can be alone again, don't worry."

"I have spent hours with you, how much more of me do you need?", Hanzo demanded, turning to face Jesse. 

"What? No, I just-"

"Just what?"

Jesse sighed. "I know you wanna be alone, I wasn't makin' a joke or nothin'."

Hanzo's eyes narrowed as he looked up at Jesse, watching him carefully. "Hmm.", he hummed. 

"What's that 'hmm' for?", Jesse asked, like he had in the restaurant. He looked irritated, but there was no trace of it in his voice. Hanzo's eyes darted around the cowboys face, and Jesse swallowed thickly. Were they standing closer than before? He could feel the heat emanating from Hanzo's chest, even as a breeze kicked up, and the moment caught him. Jesse reached up, slowly, as if Hanzo would wrench his hand off his body if he made a wrong move, and pushed stray hairs gently out of Hanzo's face.  Hanzo just blinked at him, seeming to lean into the touch, inviting more. Jesse cupped Hanzo's cheek, moving closer slowly and dipping his head down to press a chaste kiss to Hanzo's lips. His chest felt near to bursting, and his breath caught slightly the closer their lips grew.  The archer let himself be swept up in the moment, leaning ever so slightly closer, a hairs' breadth away from Jesse's lips.

Only to suddenly turn his head and avoid the kiss. Jesse blinked, his lips pressed to Hanzo's temple instead of their intended target. He feigned purpose, committing and kissing Hanzo's hair before stepping away with a sheepish chuckle. 

"Uh...", he said. 

Hanzo looked back at him, almost helplessly. 

"Sorry.", Jesse told him. "I misread the moment." he rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed.

"It is not your fault. Do not apologize."

"Right... Well. It's gettin' late, we should head back."

Hanzo nodded, and they awkwardly started making their way the last few blocks to the hotel. Emotions bared down on them both. Jesse's heart pounded, his palm sweaty, and he found it confusing to try and figure out why. Hanzo was his friend. His really hot, totally fuckable friend, and that was it. Right? He sighed, trying not to beat himself up too much as he looked at the moon and filled their awkward silence with soft, gentle whistling. 

"What is your room number?" Hanzo's voice broke through the stillness like a knife. He didn't look at Jesse, who gaped at him and nearly ran into a light pole.

"My...? Uh.." He thought, caught off guard by the question. He dug through his pockets until he found the room key Ana had tossed at him that morning. "210."

"Hm." 

Jesse started to get frustrated with all of Hanzo's 'hm's. "Why?", he asked, unable to shake the feeling he'd missed something. "What's yours?"

"927."

"Damn, so far away." Jesse chuckled, opening the hotel door and holding it for Hanzo. 

The archer walked in, still not looking at Jesse. "I have a suite."

"Oh, fancy." Jesse sounded impressed. They headed toward the elevator and he smiled. "You gonna enjoy that big bed?"

"That is the plan."

"Me, too. Them bunks at HQ are too cramped, it'll be nice to stretch out for once.", he said, pressing the buttons for the third and ninth floors. 

Yet another silence slipped between them as the elevator doors closed, only momentary, before Hanzo said: "You could always enjoy it with me."

Jesse nearly choked on his own breath. He sputtered, coughing slightly, and looked at Hanzo. "What?", he asked. Surely, he had misheard.

"Nothing.", Hanzo said, turning his face away from Jesse. 

A groan, and: "God, you're killin' me, darlin'."

"What are you talking about?"

"You're bein' a big ol' tease, is what I'm talkin' about."  The doors opened on the third floor and Jesse punched the 'close' button. looking at the other man. Hanzo looked back at him and raised an eyebrow. 

"Is this not your floor?"

"I believe I was invited to enjoy your bed."

"You were mistaken."

"Then I'll just ride back down again."

The elevator music sounded horrible, all off key trumpets and wonky pianos. Jesse tapped his foot to the syncopated beat and fiddled with his glove. He looked closely at his fingers, and around the fifth or sixth floor he said, "Would you turn away if I tried to kiss you again?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Sighing, Jesse dropped his hands and turned his whole body to face Hanzo. He nearly crowded the other man against the wall behind them. "Then you wouldn't?"

Hanzo stared at him for several long moments. The elevator dinged at the ninth floor. "This is my stop."

Jesse moved away from the doors, letting Hanzo out as they opened. He tipped his hat. "Hope that bed ain't too big and lonely."

As Hanzo left the elevator, he paused for a moment and snagged Jesse's hand, dragging the cowboy down the hall with him. Jesse smirked smugly, squeezing Hanzo's hand while they walked. They reached the door to the suite fairly quickly, and Hanzo fished his key card out of a pocket, tapping it gently on his lips as he thought to himself. Jesse leaned in a little closer to his ear. 

"Tryin' to figure out if I should carry you inside?"

Hanzo rolled his eyes, swiped the card, and swing the door open. The room splayed out before them, large and impressive. A comfortable, overstuffed sitting area sat in front of them and beyond that were double doors thrown open to reveal a huge, king sized bed. Jesse whistled as he looked around, finding more areas behind other doors. 

"Dang this place is nice."

"I am going to shower.", Hanzo said, watching Jesse flop onto an overstuffed arm chair and throw his legs over one of the arms. 

"Sounds hot.", Jesse winked. "I'll take one after you." 

Hanzo nodded, quickly heading through another door Jesse hadn't noticed. A moment later, the sound of a shower squeaking on could be heard. Jesse's phone buzzed as he started channel surfing on the TV. he dug the phone out of his pocket.

**Bunny (・｀ω´・):**

[I see wat u did ther]

**Point N Shooty:**

[idk what ur talkin bout]

**Bunny (・｀ω´・):**

[ur in hanzos room!!!!! gettin a nibble to eat hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm??? ☆⌒(ゝ。∂)]

**Point N Shooty:**

[im just bein a good friend get ur mind outta the gutter]

**Bunny (・｀ω´・):**

[why? is he currently on your pistol? ARE U GOING TO FAN THE HAMMER??]

**Point N Shooty:**

[go to bed]

**Bunny (・｀ω´・):**

[if he lets u cuddle u better cuddle right!]

**Point N Shooty:**

[bout all im good for]

**Bunny (・｀ω´・):**

[well there go MY plans]

**Point N Shooty:**

[ur plans woulda been ruined anyway. my heart belongs to another]

**Bunny (・｀ω´・):**

[is it ur hat?]

**Point N Shooty:**

[yes]

**Bunny (・｀ω´・):**

[i knew it]

Snorting, Jesse tossed his phone aside and lounged on the chair while Hanzo showered. Nothing good was on tv, but he settled on reruns of an old sitcom he'd seen too many times. Hanzo exited the bathroom in a fluffy robe, toweling his hair dry, and silently walked to the couch. He plucked the remote from Jesse's hands as he passed.

"You may shower now if you like."

 

Jesse took a long, almost scalding shower. When he finished, he pulled his boxers and jeans back on, and walked into the sitting room with a towel over his shoulders, grinning. "I was right. That was pretty relaxin'." He padded over to the bedroom, where Hanzo had laid down in his sleep clothes, and dried his hair and chest. "I'm used to runnin' outta hot water pretty quick."

He tossed his towel through the doors and onto the chair he'd sat on and smiled at Hanzo. "Mind if I join ya?"

Hanzo stared at Jesse's chest for a bit longer than he intended. "In... your jeans?", he asked, looking up at Jesse's face.

"I mean, I can take 'em off if you want." He started undoing his pants. 

"They're dirty....", Hanzo muttered, casting his eyes down and keeping himself from watching Jesse's fingers work the button and fly of his jeans down.

"Well, that d'you want me to do?", Jesse said, pushing his pants down and kicking them off in the direction of the chair. his boxers were obnoxiously patterned with mini american flags. "All my clothes are downstairs, and if I leave you might not let me back in." Turning around, he picked his jeans up and tossed them at the chair better, so they landed with the towel. The top edges of a tattoo peeked out over the top of his boxers.

"You have a tattoo?" Hanzo said, eyeing it oddly.

"What?", Jesse asked. "Oh this?" He laughed and yanked the back of his boxers down a little, showing off the tattoo. Two six shooters, and a banner over them that read 'GUNSLINGER' in stylized lettering. "I got it back in my Deadlock days. Compared to what the other guys were gettin', it ain't so bad."

Hanzo made a face of confusion and annoyance. Stretching wide, Jesse climbed onto the bed and grinned at Hanzo, relaxing into the mattress. "I was young. And stupid. You make mistakes when you're a kid. A silly tatto's not the worst I did, so it ain't worth frettin' over." He slung an arm behind his head and motioned to Hanzo with the other, inviting him to cuddle.

"It is a horrible tattoo.", Hanzo said, unmoving.

"It is.", Jesse laughed. "It's awful."

Sighing, Hanzo turned away from Jesse and settled down. He closed his eyes and attempted to sleep. 

"Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite."

 

 ++

 

Sleep eluded them both. Eventually, they had tossed and turned until they face each other, eyes focusing and unfocusing in the dark. They stared at each other, silently, their breath mingling in the space between them. Jesse fought the urge to reach out and touch Hanzo's cheek, to pull the archer closer and hold him. 

"Can't sleep?", he asked

Hanzo nodded slightly, darting his eyes away from Jesse's gaze. 

"We could cuddle.", Jesse said. "It'd be nice. Might help us doze off."

Sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed, Hanzo sighed. "I am.... having difficulty." He ran a hand through his hair.

Jesse propped himself up on his elbows. "Do you want me to go?", he said, worried his presence would just be stressing Hanzo out more. 

"I do not know what I want."

"You don't have to."

He turned his head slightly, sending his gaze towards Jesse's form in the dark. He had too many emotions conflicting in his head, and his chest, and Hanzo didn't know what to do about them. "And if I never know?", he asked quietly.

"I ain't gonna tell you to make decisions you're not ready for. I'll be here for you, though, if you need me." Quieter, Jesse added: "If you want me."

Hanzo nodded and shifted, laying back against the mattress and staring at the ceiling. Streetlight filtered brokenly through the curtains on the windows and the faint hum of the building's A/C  rumbled quietly through the air. Jesse settled back with a tired sigh and yawned a slightly. 

"Wanna cuddle?", he said with a smile.

"I want to have sex."

A beat of stunned silence. "Are you sure?"

"I do not want a relationship. I do not think I am anywhere close to being in that area. But I... want to be honest, even if it is shameful."

"It ain't shameful to want, Hanzo."

Jesse had started to sit up while he spoke, only to be shoved harshly back down against the bed as Hanzo straddled his waist suddenly. Jesse blinked, staring up at the archer. Hanzo grabbed his hands and pushed them up above Jesse's head, smirking slyly. His hair fell forward off his shoulder, into his face, and the sight nearly had Jesse reeling. Even in the dark, he found Hanzo breathtakingly beautiful.

His breath hitched, and he said, "Kiss me" breathlessly. 

"No." Hanzo chuckled and rolled his hips into Jesse's.

"Sh-shit." Jesse pushed his hips up into Hanzo's, flexing against the grip the archer had on his wrists. 

"Problem, cowboy?"

"You're gonna drive me crazy."

Hanzo drove his groin down harder against Jesse's, and the cowboy's head fell back against the pillows as he arched up against the other man. He bent his knees and pushed against Hanzo, trying to knock him off balance. When it didn't work, he ignored the surprised glare he got and tried again and planted his feet beneath him for better leverage. Using his hips, he practically bucked Hanzo up and forward, pushing him against his chest. the archer growled at him.

"You seem a bit of a wild horse, hm?" Hanzo kept Jesse's arms pinned as best he could.

"So why not let me be a bit wild?", Jesse challenged.

"I think...", Hanzo said, his face inches from Jesse's. "...I have pants to take off." 

He rolled off Jesse, who groaned and rubbed his face as he sat up. "You're such a tease."

"Are you going to take your boxers off or do I need to do it for you?", Hanzo said, peeling his sleep pants off. Jesse swallowed thickly, watching the other for a beat before he reached down and hastily pulled his boxers off, tossing them aside. He put a hand on the back of Hanzo's neck, pulling him closer.

"What are you doing?", Hanzo asked quietly.

"Kissin' you before my chance disappears." He finally closed the distance between them, pressing their lips together hungrily. Hanzo groaned into the kiss, hands pawing at Jesse's chest as the kiss deepened. He tugged at Jesse's hair, and the cowboy grunted quietly. Trailing kisses down Hanzo's neck. He bit and sucked at the skin, leaving red marks up and down his neck. Hanzo gasped, tugging at Jesse's hair again.

"I thought..", he panted. "You wanted to be _wild_."

Pressing a searing kiss  to Hanzo's lips, Jesse grabbed his ass and said, "Don't worry, I'll be a buckin' bronco in no time." His voice was husky against Hanzo's lips. The archer shuddered, gasped, as Jesse ducked his head down to trail kisses along Hanzo's chest. He flicked his fingers over Hanzo's nipples, thrilling at the keening sound it elicited, before sitting back on his calves and hooking his hands under Hanzo's knees. He pulled slightly, causing Hanzo to fall against the pillows with a quiet thud. Hot kisses were pressed against Hanzo's inner thigh, and harsh bites were soothed with quick swipes of the tongue. Hanzo bit back a loud, unexpected moan and he looked down to watch Jesse sink lower, the cowboy's breath ghosting over his cock. Jesse licked a stripe up the length in front of him, circling the head with his tongue and smirking at the heated look on Hanzo's face. He pressed hot, open mouthed kisses along the side of Hanzo's cock with a low, rumbling chuckle. 

"Jesse.", Hanzo breathed.

The sound of his name made Jesse pause, his chest swelling almost painfully as he looked at Hanzo with wide eyes. He sat up and leaned over the other man, crushing their lips together. "Say it again.", he panted into the kiss, a hand snaking between them to palm at Hanzo. A startled noise squeaked from Hanzo's throat and he kissed back passionately. Jesse growled, breaking the kiss to look Hanzo in the eyes, his own dark and dilated with desire. 

" _Say it_.", he pressed again.

"Jesse" It was almost a whisper, and Jesse felt his heart skip a beat. His breath shuddered, unexpected hurt blossoming through his chest. 

His breath evened out and he pulled back to kiss Hanzo again, a deep, passionate, dazing kiss, cupping Hanzo's face with both hands.

"God, Hanzo.", he murmured against the archer's lips. "I'm sorry. I can't do this. If we're not gonna move past tonight, if this ain't gonna go nowhere, I don't think I can do it. I'm sorry." Jesse's voice sounded strained with emotion, and he traced his thumb over Hanzo's cheek before pulling away entirely. He sighed, looking away and reaching for his boxers. 

"Jess-"

"I... can't. I'm sorry."

Silence enveloped them, tinged with hurt and confusion, and Hanzo watched helplessly as Jesse got dressed and headed for the door. 

"I'll.... see you in the mornin', Hanzo.", he said, quietly slipping out the door. Jesse gripped his chest as he walked down the hall to the elevator, willing away the emotions swelling up inside him. But they wouldn't go away. Even when he laid in his own bed, staring at his own curtains, the pain cut through him. He didn't want this, he thought. He couldn't handle pining after another man who'd never love him. 

Love. 

It seemed like Jesse was just destined to fall into patterns of unrequited feelings. He sighed, and fitfully fell asleep.

Perhaps things would be better in the morning.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally, that year of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu classes pays off
> 
> Check out my tumblr, [ohshititsmama](http://ohshititsmama.tumblr.com/) , for primo shitposts and more McHanzo goodness


	3. The Past Comes Back to Haunt You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Aw, are ya worried about lil ol' me?" Jesse comically batted his lashes, his face pointed at Hanzo even if his eyes were elsewhere. 
> 
> "And if I were?"
> 
> "I'd feel pretty dang special."
> 
> "Then I hope you become accustomed to feeling pretty."
> 
> Snorting, Jesse finally trailed his eyes back to meet Hanzo's. He rested his chin in his hand, elbow on the table, and grinned lazily. "As long as you're the one callin' me pretty, I 'spose I will." Flirting, again. It happened so naturally with Hanzo, despite whatever Jesse felt or thought, and he wanted to kick himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is ready to Suffer

Jesse slunk to his point that morning, one hand stifling a yawn and the other holding a cup of terrible black coffee. He leaned against the wall again, despite knowing his back would kill him later, and tipped his hat in Ana's direction. 

"Long night cowboy?", she asked over a closed comm channel. Jesse could practically hear the smirk in her voice. 

"You could say that.", he sighed.

Ana hummed slightly, as if appraising his response. "You going to be alright?"

"Ain't I always?"

She 'hmph'd at him as his attention was caught by Genji darting across rooftops. He leaped towards Hanzo's perch, landing gracefully beside him. They were soon deep in conversation, and the site made Hanzo smile. 

**Bunny (・｀ω´・)**

[How was last night? ]

 

**Point N Shooty:**

[illuminatin]

 

**Bunny (・｀ω´・):**

[that bad huh?]

 

**Point N Shooty:**

[just had some realizations is all]

 

**Bunny (・｀ω´・):**

[you dont like him?]

 

**Point N Shooty:**

[dont you have a job to be doin?]

 

**Bunny (・｀ω´・):**

[im doing it! omw through patrol, picking up genji from your point rn]

 

Jesse glanced around, seeing D.Va rounding a corner and waved at her. Genji clapped Hanzo on the shoulder and jumped down from the tower, landing with D.Va and walking away. He waved at Jesse, too, pointing up towards Hanzo. The archer looked down at Jesse with an unreadable expression. After a few moments of staring, he smiled slightly before focusing back on the road. The smile made Jesse's chest feel tight, and he grinned stupidly because of it. From the outside, it was obvious Jesse McCree was smitten. 

"Aww, Jesse...", Ana cooed. 

"Aw, what?", he said, ducking his head to hide his face from her. 

She 'tsked' and said, "You poor cowboy."

"Poor nothin'." Jesse grumbled, draining his coffee and tossing the cup in a nearby bin. He pulled a cigarillo from his pocket and lit it, ignoring the protests from Ana about his health. 

"Oh, Jesse..."

"What?", he snapped, looking towards her.

"Don't snap at me." Her voice was terse, authoritative. Jesse ducked his head again.

"Sorry, ma'am.", he said sourly.

Ana only sighed, sitting silently for several minutes. She saw Jesse glance back at Hanzo and smile at him, or wave. "You have it bad.", she told him. 

"Yeah.", he agreed. "Real bad."

There was a quiet, thoughtful sigh from Ana before she replied. "Does he not feel the same?"

A grumble, barely audible over the comm, and another glance at Hanzo: "I don't wanna talk about it." His chest felt tight, uncomfortable, and his throat stung. Jesse felt like a teenager who found out his crush didn't know he existed, and it almost made him feel sick. Thirty-eight damn years old, and he couldn't handle rejection? Except, he hadn't been rejected, not really. Hanzo was still there, perfectly willing to sleep with him if he dragged his boots back to the archer's door. But it was too painful, he thought. It's not like Jesse McCree had never 'just' had sex, hell he'd only ever really been in love once before. But the thought of sleeping with Hanzo when - if - he was in love with him, knowing it wouldn't go any further, seemed like a recipe for disaster and Jesse'd had enough disasters in his life. Maybe if he ignored the feeling, it'd go away. 

++

 

The day passed in relative ease. Pleasant conversations were held over the comm, and even Hanzo would occasionally chime in with a word or two. But, eventually, they were dismissed from their posts and Jesse's stomach grumbled. He stretched wide, rubbing his shoulders, and said into the comm: "I'm gonna go grab some grub. Later, Ana." Pocketing the comm and grabbing a cigarillo, he ambled down the street casually, humming a quiet tune around the cigarillo in his lips. The soft pattering of footsteps lighted behind him and he chuckled, turning around and walking backwards. 

"Are you going to dinner?", Hanzo asked.

"Of course. Gotta have a good meal after a long day, right?", Jesse said, smiling at Genji. "Y'all wanna come with?"

They nodded, and Jesse swore he saw the hint of a smile on Hanzo's face. Genji said they were going to a favorite place of theirs, a ramen shop they'd frequented when they were younger. They grimaced and complained when Jesse mentioned "living off the stuff for three years", and he laughed loudly. The air between them was easy, light hearted, and only someone paying attention could pick up the underlying hints of strain - the way Jesse avoided directly looking at Hanzo; the stilted conversation and awkward touches between brothers; Hanzo's discomfort at being stuck between Jesse and Genji written on his usually stoic face - but on the surface everything was fine. Reaching the ramen shop took less time than expected and Genji happily took a place in line, shooing Jesse and Hanzo away to find a table. They sat down in a corner booth, Jesse's metal arm flung over the back of his seat as he drummed his fingers on the table and looked around the restaurant. 

"So....", he said awkwardly, drawing the syllable out longer than intended. "Glad to see you and Genji are gettin' along."

"Yes." Hanzo said nothing else, staring quietly at the cowboy who would not look at him. Jesse coughed, clearing his throat. 

"Uh. How're you doin' today?"

"I should be asking you that question."

He waved a hand dismissively. "Ah, don't worry about it. I'll be fine."

Hanzo let out a quiet, nasal huff and crossed his arms. "I have my doubts."

"Aw, are ya worried about lil ol' me?" Jesse comically batted his lashes, his face pointed at Hanzo even if his eyes were elsewhere. 

"And if I were?"

"I'd feel pretty dang special."

"Then I hope you become accustomed to feeling pretty."

Snorting, Jesse finally trailed his eyes back to meet Hanzo's. He rested his chin in his hand, elbow on the table, and grinned lazily. "As long as you're the one callin' me pretty, I 'spose I will." Flirting, again. It happened so naturally with Hanzo, despite whatever Jesse felt or thought, and he wanted to kick himself.

"You are not that pretty."

Jesse feigned offense, hand over his chest as he gaped at Hanzo. "Why, I _never_!"

"Hana is beautiful. Lena is beautiful..... You are... handsome."

The compliment made Jesse genuinely smile, affection blooming in his chest. "Well, you're beautiful enough for the both of us, darlin'.", he said softly. A voice in the back of his mind kept telling him to stop flirting, to quit while he was ahead because Hanzo would never need Jesse like Jesse needs him. But he couldn't stop. Every time those dark eyes looked at him and the mildest hint of a laugh, or smile, or anything, appeared in them, Jesse's heart skipped a beat and he felt like a teenager in love all over again.

Genji walked over with a tray and three large bowls of ramen and smaller bowls of rice. He handed them out, placing them on the table, before sitting and taking off his visor to eat. Both brothers immediately dove into their food, Genji eating sloppily and slurping his noodles and Hanzo elegantly eating pieces of meat with his chopsticks. Jesse had a harder time, fumbling with chopsticks to grab anything from the bowl. He cursed and dropped pieces of meat or vegetables numerous times, ignoring the laughs from Genji until he finally managed to get the sticks to cooperate and he'd taken a bit of meat and noodle. 

"Shit!", he said around a mouthful. "Delicious." He leaned over his bowl and tried to minimize the mess as he slurped noodles, but broth still dripped into his beard. Hanzo grimaced. 

They ate in comfortable silence, save for the exasperated sighs and frustrated sounds coming from Genji and Hanzo as the cyborg tried to steal pieces of pork from Hanzo's ramen. 

"If you want more, go get more."

"But I want yours."

"You are thirty-five! Go get your own!"

"Onichaaaaaaaan.", Genji pouted comically and huffing as he was thwarted, again, during his attempt to steal pork.

Jesse mumbled, "Now you fucked up." absently to himself, half aware that he was referencing some ancient video Hana and Lucio had shown him. 

"Genji! Go get your own!" Hanzo barked, trying to hide his bowl from his brother. 

"Aw, shucks, you can have some of mine if you're gonna pout about it.", Jesse said, offering his bowl to Genji. 

"I don't want yours." Hanzo rolled his eyes and shook his head at Genji.

"Well I don't think your oh-knee-chan is gonna share." He completely butchered the word, and Genji and Hanzo groaned loudly. 

"Please, do not ever do that again.", Genji said.

He laughed, wiping broth off his chin. Eventually, Hanzo begrudgingly shared some of his ramen with Genji and dinner conversation went by smoothly. Jokes were cracked, stories told. Genji even tried to teach Jesse a few words in Japanese, some of which made Hanzo flush and reprimand his brother, but Jesse couldn't get his mouth to work properly for most of them and everything came out a garbled mess. When they left, they were all laughing and in high spirits. The roads were dark, lit by street lamps and the waning moon. Stars sparkled here and there, dotting the black sky with pinpricks of light. Jesse smiled, digging through his pockets for another cigarillo. Angela quipped in the back of his mind, _You should really quit those!_

"Does the hotel have a pool?", he wondered aloud. "I could use a good dip." 

Genji laughed. "No, but the suites have whirpools. Perhaps you could take advantage of that?"

Coughing and clearing his throat, still patting around for that cigarillo, Jesse said, "I might just wind down with a shower and go to bed, I didn't get a lotta sleep last night."

Hanzo's shoulders stiffened and he started walking faster, causing Genji to muffle a laugh. The cigarillo was nowhere to be found, only the empty and squashed pack sat in Jesse's pockets. He sighed, tossing the carton into a nearby trash can as they passed, and watched after Hanzo. 

"Well, shit. Guess I forgot to bring extras.", he said.

"There is a group of vending machines three blocks from the hotel if you need more. Might not be your brand though."

Hanzo was practically at the hotel now, pulling open the door quickly. Jesse called, "Good night!" to him before the archer disappeared. Genji pointed down the road where Jesse could find the vending machines. 

"Thanks. I'll grab a pack of menthols or somethin'. Better than nothin', right?"

"I do not smoke."

"Good, don't start. It's a terrible habit. Night, Genji.", he said with a smile, waving as he walked down the street. He whistled low in appreciation at the selection the machines offered, examining his choices when the smell of sulfur hit his nose unexpected and the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. A hand dropped to his side, fingers flexing over Peacekeeper as he glanced over his shoulder and looked for the source of the prickly, paranoid feeling. A shadow moved behind him and before he could turn to confront it, his face was slammed into the vending machine, cracking the glass. A clawed hand turned him around and pinned him back by the throat, and a bone white mask swam into view. Jesse gasped at the pressure on his throat, struggling against the grip. 

"Hello, ingrate.", the voice hissed, deep and harsh. 

"Who are you?", he demanded, spluttering and choking on his words when the grip on his neck tightened. 

"I'm wounded. You don't even remember me?"

A guttural laugh erupted, slow and steadily rising, from the man as he reached up and pulled the mask off. He grinned at the fear and confusion that spread over Jesse's face. The cowboy gasped raggedly, unable to escape. " **_No_** " was all he could get out with the little oxygen he had left. 

"Lights out.", the man said, yanking Peacekeeper from Jesse's holster and slamming it into Jesse's temple. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is short, the next couple are as well. But they should get longer after, and there's a few gratuitous smutty chapters that'll be sprinkled in so look forward to that!
> 
> Check out my tumblr, [ohshititsmama](http://ohshititsmama.tumblr.com/) , for primo shitposts and more McHanzo goodness!
> 
> Also check out this awesome art made [by bitemark](http://bitemarke.tumblr.com/post/149152435755/sketchy-fanart-for-a-short-scene-from-this-fic) of a scene from chapter 1!!! If you made some art for the fic, hmu on tumblr or Discord (Discount Clint Eastwood) so I can show you and your art off! :D


	4. Your Love Was Misplaced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack's voice crackled over the device, loud and angry.  
> "I told you no! We've got more important things to deal with than go looking for a missing cowboy!"
> 
> The words stung, but Jesse refused to let it show. Shaking, his voice rough from screams, he said, "They're comin' for me."
> 
> "Didn't you hear dear old Jack? He doesn't care about you anymore. You're not important."
> 
> "They're comin'.", he insisted, but his heart wasn't in it and for a brief, debilitating moment Jesse thought he'd die in the room, tortured by a man he used to love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry ahead of time that this chapter's so short, the others should be a little longer! And hopefully they shouldn't take as long to get out!

Jesse woke with a groan, his head swimming and throbbing from the blow he'd received. He tried to sit up as his eyes blearily took in his surroundings, unable to discern where he was, but found himself bound and forced into a weird and uncomfortable position; arms hiked up behind him by the forearm, legs twisted and bound to the chair he sat on. Nothing hurt, necessarily, but a dull ache coursed through him. Groaning, Jesse tried again to figure out where he was and pulled at the restraints in an attempt to find a way to free himself, but it only made things worse. He cursed, letting his head hang, as black boots entered his vision. 

"I hope you had a good sleep. You won't be getting more for a while."

Jesse tried to look up, to meet Reyes' face, but of course he couldn't. "Why are you doin' this?", his demanded, his voice raw and thick from disuse. Who knew how long he'd been out. 

"I'm not some two bit villain who's going to explain my motives or plans to you.", Reyes said, scoffing. 

"You're supposed to be dead."

"Sorry to dash your hopes, kid."

Jesse couldn't fight the pain and anger, the fear, that bubbled in his chest, and he yelled, "I mourned you! I grieved for you! I-"

"You what?", Reyes said with a laugh. "You loved me? You idolized me?"

A small shock surged through Jesse, not enough to hurt him much. He groaned, straining through the forced contraction of all his muscles. He had difficulty breathing, and his chest burned. 

"Don't make me laugh, ingrate."

"They'll come lookin' for me.", Jesse said, breathing heavily. "You know they'll find me. If I don't get outta here myself first."

Another shock went through him. Jesse couldn't pinpoint where they were originating. 

"You won't get out of here."

"You taught me everythin' I know, remember?", he said, sourly, his breathing labored. "What makes you so sure?"

Reyes 'tsked' at him and shocked Jesse again, painful and lasting, the electricity forcing his fingers to clench. 

"What do you want?", Jesse ground out, voice rough and ragged already. 

"Passcodes to the Overwatch databases."

"No."

Again.

The strain makes Jesse's face red, his eyes screwed shut. He tugged on the restraints as every muscle in his body tensed, repeatedly, for what felt like ages. When it finally passed, he fell limp against his bonds and panted, breath shuddering through him.

"You know I'm not one for gory torture, don't you, Jesse?", Reyes said, punctuated Jesse's name with an almost purr. "I like to be clean."

"I don't remember you bein' very clean when you blew HQ to hell.", Jesse rasped. 

Reyes chuckled. "Do you think I bound you that way just because? I bet your body hates it. You'll give up eventually."

"I'm tougher than I look."

There was a silence between them for several minutes before Reyes walked back to the door. "Here's what's going to happen.", he said. "If you fall asleep, the chair will shock you, and it'll shock you at random intervals, and every time you don't give me the answers I want, I'll shock you. Eventually, you'll give in or die, and either works for me."

"Then I guess you better have a gravesite ready."

As he turned to leave, Reyes hit a switch on the wall and bright lights flooded the room, making Jesse wince. "Pleasant dreams."

"Hope ya like waitin'!", Jesse yelled, listening to the sound of Reyes' footsteps walking away. "It'll be a cold day in hell before I give out!"

Ice water poured over him as he said it, causing him to yelp and shiver uncomfortably in his restraints. 

 

Jesse lost track of time in the room, unable to count the hours between ice water and shocks that randomly kept him as alert as he could be. How many days had passed? How many times had Reyes asked him for passcodes? How much longer could he hold out? Jesse staunchly refused to give Reyes what he wanted, and even when his voice stopped working properly, torn to shreds from screams, he simply stopped answering altogether. 

Six days. He didn't know, but that's how long Jesse had been there. Six days of this torture. If he were able, he'd wonder how he managed to stay alive. Reyes walked into the room, after six days, and had a new approach. in his hand was a recording device, and he held it down for Jesse to see. 

Jack's voice crackled over the device, loud and angry.  
"I told you no! We've got more important things to deal with than to go looking for a missing cowboy!"

The words stung, but Jesse refused to let it show. Shaking, his voice rough and raw, barely a whisper, he said, "They're comin' for me."

"Didn't you hear dear old Jack? He doesn't care about you anymore. You're not important."

"They're comin'.", he insisted, but his heart wasn't in it, despite his posturing, and for a  debilitating moment Jesse wondered if he'd die in the room, tortured by a man he used to love. If it kept Overwatch safe, he didn't care. If it kept Hanzo safe, he didn't care. Jesse had long since accepted his fate, accepted he would die in the line of duty. An honorable death, he'd thought.  

Reyes didn't come back after that. Maybe he'd given up. Maybe he thought if he left Jesse alone long enough, he'd give in. Maybe he just wanted Jesse to die. The shocks and water continued, but they'd long since stopped getting anything form Jesse. He couldn't make noises if he wanted to. When something happened, Jesse had entirely lost all sense of time and felt he'd been in the room forever. Thoughts of Hanzo drifted in and out of his mind, but he couldn't latch on to them, and they seemed too distant to have been real. He thought of giving up, thinking there was no point in trying to hold out anymore. No one was coming for him, no rescue to save the cowboy in distress. 

As he loosely contemplated defeat, the ground rumbled and a distant, dull roar could be heard. Sounds of panic, fighting, and alarms quickly followed, gunfire punctuating the cacophony. When the rumbling came again, it was louder, and shook the entire room with its force. The door shook, and caved in as a cybernetic foot kicked it down. Jesse's eyes widened as much as they were able as he saw the distinctive feet of Genji and Hanzo walk into view. 

"Han-", he tried to say, voice strangled and worn. "You... came." Tears he hadn't even been aware of fell over Jesse's cheeks and soaked into his beard as a wave of relief rushed over him. Hanzo didn't say anything, he growled and began undoing the restraints as Genji watched the door. Jesse couldn't speak coherently, his words a whispered mess of Hanzo's name and "You came" repeated over and over. He was vaguely aware of Genji and Hanzo speaking to each other - "There's more coming, I will take care of them brother."; "Be careful, Genji. We will meet you on the roof." - as Hanzo finally got his arm bindings undone, and moved in front of Jesse to work on his feet. He tried to touch Hanzo, so delirious and exhausted he worried the man wasn't really there. his arms wouldn't work, but after several attempts, Jesse managed to shakily press his hand to Hanzo's chest. 

"You're real.", he muttered, still crying.

"We are getting you out of here." With the last restraint done, Hanzo hauled Jesse to his feet and putting the man on his back. 

"I thought-", Jesse's breath ghosted over Hanzo's neck and ear, the tears falling on his skin. 

"Save your strength. We have ten minutes to make it to the roof to rendevous with Hana."

Jesse nodded almost imperceptibly, letting himself be carried away by Hanzo. Genji had taken care of most of the men in the halls, clearing the way for them up to the roof. They had almost made it scott free when a swarm of agents rounded the corner at the far end of a hallway, near the stairs they needed to climb to reach the roof. Hanzo set Jesse down as gently as possible and knocked an arrow, bullets whistling past them. His arm glowed, and he yelled, loosing the arrow into the crowd of men and watching solemnly as the dragons tore through his enemies. Jesse watched, wide eyed, completely in awe of the man before him. He'd seen Hanzo use the dragons before, many times, but every time felt like a brand new experience and floored him all over again. Before he realized what was happening, Hanzo had picked Jesse up in a fireman's carry over his shoulders and headed up the stairs as fast as they could manage. Genji had beat them, twirling a pistol around his fingers. 

"D.Va incoming in two.", he said, holding the pistol out to Jesse as Hanzo set him down to rest. "One of the men I took out had this on them. I thought you would want it back."

Peacekeeper was heavier than he remembered, or maybe he was just weaker. Jesse frowned as he looked down at it, feeling helpless in the situation. Hanzo stood close by, watching Jesse with a scowl. Jesse looked at his hands underneath Peacekeeper, frowning more at the state his prosthetic was in - rusted and unable to move. He fought the urge to sleep as D.Va's mech crested the top of the building. 

"Move it!", she yelled. "No time to hang around!"

Everyone climbed onto her mech, and Hanzo made sure Jesse was carefully, safely, placed before he held on to the machine. It wasn't the safest form of extraction, especially given the circumstances, but it was doing the job fine. Genji and Hanzo spoke into their comms with D.Va over the din of the air rushing past them, and Jesse wanted to thank them, to say something, but he felt himself falling asleep too quickly to react. Their landing jostled him awake enough to grab Hanzo when he was being pulled from the mech. 

"Reyes.", he whispered in Hanzo's ear. "Tell them it was Reyes."

Jesse's vision swam, swirling to black as he passed out again.


	5. Let's Run Away Together, My Dear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "YOU DID THIS TO ME." 
> 
> Jesse's hand recoiled as if he'd been burned, and panic spread through him thick as sludge. He didn't know what to do, and a sudden silence filled the air between them, deafening in it's expanse. Not even the wind stirred the leaves and petals in the garden. He floundered over his words, unsure of what was happening or how to fix it. "Hanzo, I-"
> 
> "HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this has taken so long. Lotsa junk happening IRL and whatnot, and I'm sorry to say this will probably be the last plot-centric chapter. There'll be another one, possibly, with some smut in it because I planned on adding it in anyway, but I've had issues with the plot in the Rp it's based on, it gets a little muddled so unless I can salvage it, I won't be continuing this fic. But there will be more! I have other ideas and fics in the works, don't worry!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!

It was days before Jesse woke up, hooked to an IV in the infirmary. He groaned, shifting in the hospital bed as the ache and pain in his body settled in. Hunger scratched at him harshly, and everything hurt when he moved. In the corner, Angela sat on a chair, watching a small TV with the sound turned down. She looked up at the sound of movement and her face lit up when he smiled weakly at her. 

"Hey.", he said, voice thick from disuse. "How long was I out?"

"Almost three days. I was concerned about waking you sooner considering the level of fatigue and damage that had been done.", she said, examining his vitals quickly. "Everything seems fine, now. You're making a good recovery."

"That's good, I suppose." Jesse groaned, making himself sit up against the back of the bed despite Angela's protests. They were alone in the room, and Jesse couldn't help but frown. He'd hoped Hanzo would be there when he woke. "Where's Hanzo? Has he been by?"

Angela looked uncomfortable at the question. She cleared her throat and changed the subject. "I need you to tell me everything you can remember about what happened. I will better be able to treat you if I know exactly what they did to you."

"Angela." Jesse's voice was low, suspecting. "Where's Hanzo?"

"He...." She sighed. "..has been dismissed, along with Genji and D.Va."

"What?" Jesse sat up straighter, trying to get out of bed. "Where's Jack? I want to talk to him." Pain waved through him, causing him to cry out and fall back against the bed in defeat. "Tell him I wanna see him, Angela."

She sighed, knowing this would end badly, but that Jesse wouldn't let it go. Standing, Angela left the room. A few moments later, Jack came in, pulling Angela's chair closer to the bed to sit next to Jesse.

"How you holding up?", he asked.

Jesse ignored the question. "You can't dismiss them."

"That isn't a concern right now. How are you?"

"It's my fuckin concern right now!" the words came out louder, harsher than he'd intended them. "I woulda died, Jack! If they hadn't found me I'd've died and all y'all would've been up shit creek without a paddle with Reyes!" He stared angrily at Jack, hand fisting in the hospital sheets. 

"Dying is part of the job!" Jack slammed his fist on the chair's arm, voice growling and grinding out his words. "You're the one who answered the recall, Jesse! You knew the dangers! I had to deal with Talon attacking schools, hospitals, residential areas! I had to make a tough fucking call, and I'm not going to say I made the wrong one." He sighed heavily, rubbing his face. "Making the tough calls is my job, whether I like them or not, Jesse. Agents Shimada and Song disobeyed direct orders, I can't ignore that."

"Bull fuckin shit, Jack, we all disobeyed orders before. You're dismissin some of your best agents after one discrepancy?"

Jack scoffed. "This has nothing to do with their skill. You're miffed I dismissed your new toy."

"They took out an entire base by themselves, with me bein deadweight in tow. That ain't 'best agent' material? Whether or not I like anyone don't matter. They swooped in and saved my life, and wiped out an entire base to do it. Alone. They're probably our best asset right now, and you just tossed em out."

"They put civilian lives in danger when they took off! I am not rescinding their dismissal!"

Jesse looked away from Jack, knowing he was fighting a battle he couldn't win. Tension flared hot and thick between them. 

"Are you sure it was him?" Jack's voice was quiet, a stark contrast to the stubborn yelling from moments before. 

"Yeah. I'm sure."

"Did.. Did you see his face? Are you positive?"

He knew Jack was hurting. In all honesty, so was Jesse. The one thing they had in common before everything went to shit had been their feelings for Reyes. But love was fickle, and cruel.

"First thing he did", Jesse said, "was take off his mask and make sure I knew who he was."

A sigh escaped the older man, sitting heavy in the air before him. Neither said a word for a long time, the only sound coming form the small television Angela had left on in the corner. Finally, Jack stood and made his way to the door. 

"When you can, give me a full report. Torbjorn is working on a new prosthetic for you, the last one rusted beyond repair." Another sigh, a head scratch: "Go... see Hanzo when you're recovered. We gave them back the Shimada estate in Hanamura, he's probably expecting you. Angela says you'll be out of commission for a couple months, so rest easy while you're there."

"Thanks, Jack."

"Yeah."

 

 

Several days passed where Jesse was stuck in an almost endless cycle of sleeping and eating, all underlined with dulling pain. Angela kept a close eye on him, even when he insisted he'd be alright for a while so she could rest. When he could stay conscious for more than a couple hours, Jesse had a laptop brought to him so he could do something besides stare at the wall and watch Angela's German soap operas. He spent a lot of time messaging Hana, occasionally Genji, to discuss him visiting after Angela cleared him for travel. They were excited, anxious to see him after everything, and Jesse shared the sentiment. Finally, after nearly two weeks in the infirmary, Angela reluctantly gave him permission to leave, "Under the condition you do nothing rigorous while you are there! Eat plenty, and rest only!". Jesse was on the next flight to Japan. 

Hana stood waiting for him when he finally arrived at he Estate, dressed elegantly in a beautiful kimono. "COWBOYYYYYY", she yelled, running to hug him but careful when she wrapped her arms around him. Jesse laughed, hugging her tight. 

"Howdy dollface.", he said. "That ki-mo-no sure looks nice on ya."

"Yeah well, when you're in Japan, right?"

"Maybe I'll get a fancy new outfit while I'm here, too." Jesse laughed, looking around the grounds. "Speaking of... Where are the bros?"

"Genji is cooking, and Hanzo's probably being all stoic and brooding in the garden."

When Jesse looked around more, trying to find some indication of which way the garden was, Hana laughed and pointed it out for him. "Over there. He'll be happy to see you." 

"Thanks.", he said, tipping his hat with a smile. As he walked, anxiety grew stronger with every step, nerves almost getting the better of him. Of course Hanzo would be happy to see him, he thought. Why wouldn't he? The man had disobeyed orders to rescue him, that obviously meant he cared. Right? Maybe he'd be better off leaving, save himself from more rejection. But, no, Jesse stood just inside the garden, watching Hanzo quietly watering plants and the gentle breeze rustle through the cherry trees, stuck on indecision for only a split second before the pang in his chest spurred his feet to move. He knew the archer heard him, and stopped a few feet behind him.

"Hey."

Hanzo set the watering can down and turned to face him, a soft smile on his face. The kind of smile Jesse wanted to see forever, that warmed him through and soothed his worries. 

"Look who is up and about finally.", Hanzo said, stepping closer. He looked Jesse over and frowned slightly. "You are thinner. Are you alright? Are you eating properly?"

"I'm fine, darlin. How are you?"

"I am fine, too. Resting." He attempted to hide his irritation and worry, reaching out to touch Jesse's waist. "We should have come sooner."

Jesse ran his hands up Hanzo's arms. "I'm glad you came at all."

"You should have never been left that long. I- What are you doing?"

Jesse had wrapped his arms around Hanzo, pulling him into a close hug and resting his cheek on the other's head. "Huggin ya. I'm happy to see you."

"I- am happy you are safe." Hanzo's voice was slightly muffled from where he'd buried his face in Jesse's chest. 

"I know I don't have to say it but.. thank you."

There was no need to clarify what Jesse meant, and Hanzo only hugged him tighter. "...How bad was it?", Hanzo's quiet voice asked. 

"Not.. so bad."

Hanzo pushed him away, glaring at him, almost angry. "Do not lie to me!"

Jesse dropped his hands and looked away. It was only then Hanzo noticed his prosthetic was newer, cleaner. "It was.. awful. I thought I was gonna die there."

"What did he do?"

"You don't wanna hear about that. And I... Darlin, please, I don't want to go through this again. I'll... I'll tell you, I promise, but.. not right now. Please?"

Hanzo nodded, looking down and away from Jesse. "Yes.", he said, clearing his throat. How silly of him to have shown so much vulnerability. "Of course. My apologies."

They stood there, awkwardly, for a few moments before Jesse's stomach growled loudly and he laughed. "Heh, so.. Hana said Genji was cookin?"

"Hana insisted we cook a large amount of food a few hours ago, I suppose you are why. We should go inside."

Jesse nodded, shifting his duffel on his shoulder and tossing an arm around Hanzo. "And here I thought I coulda surprised you."

"Hana is transparent." Hanzo chuckled as they walked. "Though I almost thought perhaps it was Jack coming to beg us to return."

"I got into a fight with him about that. So, who knows. Maybe he will."

"I doubt it. Even if he did, perhaps we will not return no matter what he offers us."

A beat of silence passed, then: "Maybe I won't either."

"Jesse... you would not leave."

"I would for you."

Hanzo stopped, looking sideways at Jesse for a moment. "I was devastated.", he said softly. "Thinking of what had happened to you."

At a loss for words, Jesse simply stepped away from Hanzo slightly to look at him properly. 

"I.. panicked. I could not think straight for fear of what had happened to you. I-" Hanzo squared his shoulders and turned away from Jesse. "My emotions have never gotten so out of hand before, and still I do not know what to do."

Jesse's eyes softened and he placed a hand on Hanzo's shoulder, trying his best to comfort the man before him. "Han, I'm.. I'm sorry. I can't imagine what it musta been like."

Intentionally moving away from Jesse, Hanzo wrapped his arms around himself, shoulders hunching as he continued speaking. His voice came strained with emotion Jesse was unaccustomed to hearing. "When I.. saw you in that chair, and I... I BLAME YOU." His voice suddenly grew loud, and harsh, tinged with panic. "YOU DID THIS TO ME." 

Jesse's hand recoiled as if he'd been burned, and panic spread through him thick as sludge. He didn't know what to do, and a sudden silence filled the air between them, deafening in it's expanse. Not even the wind stirred the leaves and petals in the garden. He floundered over his words, unsure of what was happening or how to fix it. "Hanzo, I-"

"HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME? HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME-" Hanzo cut himself off, taking a deep breath and looking skyward. Jesse had never seen Hanzo's face so twisted and emotional. His lips moved and Jesse just barely caught the murmured words "- love you". Everything stood still; even time ticked by slower as Jesse's heart skipped and beat and his breath left him suddenly. He felt like he'd been punched in the gut, but for once the sensation wasn't unpleasant, and when he finally found the ability to move again, he quickly closed the distance between them. Without warning, Jesse's made Hanzo face him, his hands finding their way to the archer's face as he pressed in for a devastating kiss. Hanzo didn't push him away this time, melting into the embrace and kissing back with everything he had. Smiles kept interrupting the kiss, eventually making it nothing but lips on teeth until Jesse simply pressed their foreheads together. He couldn't stop the stupid grin that spread across his face. 

"You love me.", he said quietly. 

"Yes.", Hanzo replied. He tried to keep a straight face, but it proved difficult. "I blame you for it."

"Darlin, if there's anythin' in this world I'm proud to be responsible for, it's you lovin' me." Jesse chuckled, peppering Hanzo's face with sweet kisses. Hanzo couldn't help the soft laugh that escaped him. "I figured I'd be pinin' after you forever."

"We could always go back to how it was before.", Hanzo teased. 

"No." Jesse said it quickly, looking at Hanzo with wide eyes. "No, don't."

Hanzo smiled softly, pulling Jesse into another, gentler kiss. "And what of you, cowboy?", he said against Jesse's lips. "Do you love me?"

Jesse looked at Hanzo with bright, honest eyes, and his thumb traced along the archer's cheekbone. "I'm almost positive I've loved you since the first moment we met, darlin."

"I am glad you pursued me, then."

"Ditto, sweet pea."

 


End file.
